i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
