is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
