I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize