At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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