She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize