Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
