The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
