he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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