She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Alive.
So much puke
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
