1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i think i have herpe
just one?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We're using joints as your birthday candles
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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