I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
