i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize