I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
