just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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