I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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