Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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