C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
