its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
