I got chris browned last night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
