No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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