I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
