Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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