I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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