Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Randomize