I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
