Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
