Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
