youre lurking in front of me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
