yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think I am morally bankrupt
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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