True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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