He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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