Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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