You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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