I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
