Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
