Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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