Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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