i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
