How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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