i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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