i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
