I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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