I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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