Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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