Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
