I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
