i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now