Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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