remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?