Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n