I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
