i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
