I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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