I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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