and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
is this the sara with the beer cane?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
