Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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