I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
