i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
