Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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