The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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