Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
