but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Come see our sink grown plant.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
