Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
