your thong is hanging out like whoa
Apparently you make a good broom.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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