Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
