Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
