I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize