so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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