I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
home. puking in laundry basket.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
