I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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