I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
4 words: hood of his car
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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